Editor’s Note:
This article was originally written by Aida and reflects her personal experiences living in Indonesia at the time of writing. It has been lightly updated for clarity and accuracy, but remains a firsthand account. Social norms in Indonesia continue to evolve, and experiences may differ depending on region, community, and individual circumstances.
When I first came to Indonesia, I thought I understood what to expect. I had read about cultural differences, gender roles, and social expectations. But like many expatriates, I quickly realised that reading about a culture and living in it are two very different things.
One of the things that struck me most was what I perceived as chauvinism — particularly in interactions between men and women. At first, I found it frustrating, even shocking. Coming from a background where gender equality is strongly emphasised, some of the attitudes I encountered felt outdated.
However, over time, my understanding began to shift.
In Indonesia, social roles are often shaped by long-standing cultural values, religious beliefs, and family structures. What I initially interpreted as chauvinism was, in many cases, part of a broader system of expectations — one that values harmony, respect, and clearly defined roles within society.
For example, it is common for men to take on the role of decision-maker in the family, while women may be expected to prioritise home and children. In a Western context, this can feel restrictive. But in Indonesia, many women embrace these roles and take pride in them.
That said, this is not a uniform experience.
Indonesia is incredibly diverse. In larger cities like Jakarta, Surabaya, and Bandung, you will find many women in leadership roles, running businesses, and contributing significantly to the workforce. Education levels, exposure to global ideas, and generational change are all influencing how gender roles are evolving.
As an expatriate woman, I had to learn how to navigate these differences.
There were moments when I felt dismissed or not taken seriously — particularly in professional settings. At times, conversations would be directed toward male colleagues, even when I was the one leading the discussion. Initially, I reacted emotionally. But over time, I realised that reacting with frustration was not productive.
Instead, I learned to adapt my approach.
Building relationships became key. Demonstrating competence over time, rather than demanding immediate recognition, proved far more effective. In Indonesian culture, trust and familiarity often carry more weight than titles or assertiveness.
I also learned that communication styles play a major role. Direct confrontation, which may be acceptable in Western cultures, can be seen as aggressive or disrespectful in Indonesia. A more indirect, diplomatic approach often leads to better outcomes.
This does not mean accepting inequality — but rather understanding the context in which interactions take place.
It is also important to recognise that change is happening.
Younger generations, particularly those who have studied abroad or worked in international environments, often bring different perspectives. Many Indonesian women today are balancing professional ambitions with traditional expectations, redefining what those roles look like.
Looking back, I realise that my initial reaction was shaped by my own cultural lens.
Living in Indonesia challenged me to question my assumptions and broaden my perspective. What I once labelled as chauvinism, I now see as a complex interplay of culture, tradition, and gradual change.
For expatriates arriving in Indonesia, my advice is this:
Observe before judging.
Take the time to understand the underlying values that shape behaviour. Be patient with the process of adjustment. And most importantly, remain open to the possibility that your perspective may evolve — just as mine did.
Final Reflection
Experiences related to chauvinism can feel deeply personal, and no two expatriates will interpret or encounter them in exactly the same way. What matters most is approaching these moments with cultural awareness, patience, and adaptability.
Indonesia is not a static society. It is dynamic, diverse, and continually evolving. Understanding this context can help expatriates navigate life here with more empathy, awareness, and confidence.
By Aida
