Editor’s note:
This article reflects the personal observations and experiences of the original author during his time working in Indonesia. While the core cultural insights around relationship-building and respect in Indonesian business remain highly relevant today, certain references and contexts have been lightly updated to reflect modern business practices, compliance expectations, and the evolving international business environment. Individual experiences may vary depending on industry, organization, and region.
At a general meeting of the American Chamber of Commerce, William Fish and Townsend Simley found themselves seated at the same table. Townsend, although British, is a member of the American Chamber because it is such a good source of business information and contacts. William and Townsend introduced themselves and naturally began discussing their respective experiences working in Indonesia.
“I was in a meeting recently with an official at BULOG, the national logistics agency,” said William. “I was surprised and confused by the actions of the Bapak that I met. I had read that Indonesian Bapak are very formal and that we foreigners need to be careful when dealing with them. This one, however, was very open—asking me about my family and my time so far in Jakarta. He really made me feel at home. Before I knew it, we were comparing stories about our teenage sons.”
Townsend explained that Bapak are indeed formal in many ways. One must respect their status and position, but they are also informal in other ways. Indonesians are often described as friendly and approachable people. However, the complexity behind that outward friendliness can sometimes be confusing to newcomers.
In polite business conversation, most Bapak will be very interested in who the foreign businessperson is. While expatriates may seem common in areas such as Jalan Sudirman or Jalan Rasuna Said, interactions with foreigners may still be relatively uncommon in more traditional or government environments.
There are questions that expatriates often hear: Where are you from? How long will you be here? Are you married? How many children do you have? The interest usually goes beyond these initial questions. If you are trying to build a relationship with a Bapak, use this natural curiosity to your advantage. Indonesian business relationships are personal relationships, and the more you know about each other, the easier it becomes to develop trust.
Think of the Bapak that you have a relationship with now. Do you know if they are married? How many children they have? How deep does your knowledge of their personal life go? In many Western cultures, there is a more impersonal approach to business. While some cultures may be more open than others, expatriates working in Indonesia need to make an effort to engage on a more personal level. This does not necessarily mean frequent socializing, but it does mean taking time to sit, talk, and build rapport—something that is often more important in Indonesia than in many Western contexts.
Indonesian business relationships also involve looking out for one another’s interests. However, this must be approached carefully. Today’s business environment places strong emphasis on compliance, transparency, and ethical conduct. International regulations such as the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA) and similar global anti-corruption laws mean that expatriates must ensure that any support or assistance offered remains appropriate, transparent, and within legal and corporate guidelines.
That said, relationship-building can still include appropriate and professional support—such as sharing information about international schools, educational pathways, or general advice about global opportunities—without crossing ethical boundaries.
If you want to invite a Bapak out socially, it is often best to keep the meeting in a public setting. Meeting at a well-regarded hotel or restaurant in Jakarta remains a comfortable and neutral option. Inviting someone to your home is less common in early-stage business relationships and may unintentionally create discomfort or invite comparisons of lifestyle.
Similarly, if you are invited to a Bapak’s home or private event, understand that these are often more formal than they might initially appear. What might seem like a casual invitation can carry elements of ceremony and structure. Dress and behavior should reflect respect for the occasion.
William turned to Townsend and said, “My ancestry is English, although my family has been in America for generations. I do feel uncomfortable taking cross-cultural business relationships to a personal level. It’s one aspect of doing business in Indonesia that I wasn’t expecting—but I will try to adapt.”
Townsend thought to himself that this was one expatriate who just might succeed in Indonesia.
This article was originally contributed by George B. Whitfield III during his time as a Technical Advisor with Executive Orientation Services.
