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You Suck When You're Drunk!

Do you know that drunk drivers in San Salvador can be punished by death before a firing squad?

Anyway, when I was little, probably six years old, my father had just returned after five years spent studying for his doctorate from the States. At that time, he told me a story once of how strange some American people were. One day, a few weeks after his arrival in the superpower country (it was known as such at the time), he was invited to a friend's party. He told me how he'd had a great time, meeting nice new friends and learning about the different culture a bit deeper than he could from the inside of the university's classrooms. Basically, everybody treated him as his or her best buddy that night. My father came home smiling - glad to know how wonderful and friendly the American people were.

Then my dad continued his spiel, "The following weekend, I visited some friends I met at that party. Their attitude when they saw me again was beyond belief. They were suddenly cold, distant and unfriendly. I couldn't believe it. I thought we'd had so much in common. We had the same opinions about the fate of the small world that we shared. We talked about girls, politics and told jokes about one Jewish, one Scottish and an Englishman. But no, my friends had completely changed. When I asked them why, they said: "Sorry, we must've been drunk that night".

We must've been drunk that night? Is that an excuse for being nice? In other words - sorry, we are normally just a bunch of ignorant people, unless we are 'high'?

When I was living in the Netherlands - yes, where some drugs are actually legal - I saw some pathetic cases. Of how some of my Dutch friends really believe that in order to have fun and enjoy life they need to excessively drink alcohol or use marijuana or other drugs. That was the only way for them. Those people just can't handle the beauty of this world with their 'straight' brains.

Then I ask myself? What's the point? What's the point of being the friend of a bunch of distorted people? People who are not really themselves? I am neither a drug user nor an alcoholic (well yes, hello . that sounds smart to advertise yourself, as a drug user in a national newspaper, doesn't it?). So, maybe I can't see what those people 'see' when they're wasted. Yes, that's the correct word - 'wasted'. But let me tell you what I 'see' from those who are under the influence. I see fake people. I see Dr. Jekyls. I see pathetic people who can't stand to be their real selves. I see people who feel that they need some dope to be accepted by their circle or society or friendship. Why?

I used to have a nice friend; he was an intelligent, funny, good-hearted person. But yes, he did like to use alcohol and other stuff to get high whenever he socialised with a group of people. He always managed to stay sober when he was only with me though. That's why I came to like him. One day he came to a get together at my house. A number of friends were already there. When he arrived, he was already completely drunk. He laughed a lot, but he just became somebody else - a rude person. I had to throw him out of the house. The sad part is, he couldn't remember a thing the following morning. He couldn't remember that he was a complete jerk in my house the night before. So, we, the victims, were feeling hurt for what? The person involved didn't even realise it. What a waste of such a wonderful night.

What's the point of having friends who purposely wear wolves' fur beneath their white fleece? Isn't it a kind of deception toward society? Toward the rest of the world? Imagine an athlete who competes in an international sport event. If the committee finds a trace of drugs in an athlete's body, what'll happen then? The athlete will be disqualified, humiliated and booed by the rest of the world. Its' the same story with what has happened to several artists - actresses, actors or singers. Some of them have to get high to find inspiration or simply to perform onstage. What if they stop using drugs or alcohol? They can't produce anything! Not even a single simple child's tune - like Ring Around the Rosy! What is this then? Are they cheating? Do we feel cheated?

I am a wine lover myself; I am not a methyphobist. I am not one of the Bill McCoys, who was a well known bootlegger, nor a teetotaller nor am I a prohibitionist who advocates that excessive drinkers should be punished by torture, branding, whipping, sterilisation - wait, now that's tempting - tattooing or execution. Like what happened in the west during the early 1800s. But as with other things we do, I think 'do things moderately' is the key. Since using drugs is basically illegal here, so drinking moderately is the key. Enjoy the flavour, twirl it in your mouth, but keep your true personality!

By the way, do you know that in Saskatchewan, Canada, it's illegal to drink alcohol while watching exotic dancers? Wish that those terrorists did their last night's heaven-on-earth party there instead of in a Florida's strip club.

Back to the problem, we are not only discussing bad breath and hangovers as some of the short-term effects of alcohol use here. Not to mention sexual impotence, liver and heart damage or memory loss. Or the more physically challenging facts about using soft drugs or marijuana which include impaired short-term memory (some people use this to their advantage), bloodshot eyes (just what I need - isn't it in fashion again?), dry mouth and throat (which will make you gulp more glasses of beer - yippee!), infertility, paranoia and hallucinations.

We are talking about how people cheat on their society, on the world - including on the people they say they love. Or worse, how they hurt innocent people around them, just by using alcohol or drugs. The scary part is - they do it on purpose.